A Message From the CEO

Tide CEO: You Gotta Stop Eating Tide Pods

Apr 5, 2018

What? Kids love chocolate.

ABC CEO: “No More Racist Shows”

Jun 23, 2018

America has spoken, and it wants TV that’s more divisive than ever.

Venmo CEO: We’re Fun!

Aug 25, 2018

It’s like a hipper, sexier version of the Bank of America app. That’s what kids want, right?

MoviePass CEO: PLEASE DON’T CANCEL

Sep 13, 2018

All businesses have a growing period! We’re just growing downwards! Impressively fast!

Tumblr CEO: No More Porn

Dec 17, 2018

Finally, Tumblr’s returning to its family-friendly roots, like BDSM (Buddies Doing Social Media)!

JUUL CEO: No More Advertising to Kids

Nov 22, 2019

Save up your allowance! Juul is introducing new ways to experience your favorite vape brand.

GoFundMe CEO: We Could Use a Few Fun Ones

Dec 27, 2019

This wasn’t supposed to be a website that hosts popularity contests where if you lose, you die.

Tide CEO: Soap Isn’t Medicine

Jun 1, 2020

David Taylor is back, and he still can’t believe this has to be explained.

A Message from the Skype CEO

Mar 17, 2021

The CEO of Skype is here with a message for all you “loyal” users.

Oreo CEO: Stop Making New Oreos

Apr 14, 2021

The perfect cookie exists, we can stop now.

Hardware Store CEO: We’re Rebranding (for Some Reason)

May 12, 2021

The owner - I mean, CEO - of Midland Park Hardware is here to disrupt… the nail industry?