Chelmsford, Britain in the year AD 123; there is a power struggle between Roman governor Aulus Paulinus and the British chieftain, Badvoc. Britain is a miserable place, cold and wet – just the place to exile Aulus for accidentally insulting the Emperor's horse, but also give him something useful to do. Aulus, probably a play on Aulus Platorius Nepos, the governor of Roman Britain between 122 and 125, was a rather delicate Roman, who was usually outwitted by the scheming Badvoc, who hadn't had a haircut for twenty-five years.
Arrivederci Roma
Mar 9, 1988
Aulus is given the Governor's job as a suitable punishment for accidentally insulting the Holy Roman Emperors' girlfriend (a horse!). They arrive in England to a surprisingly warm welcome from the Brits but inadvertently upset them at the first night celebration.
What's Your Poison?
Mar 16, 1988
Aulus tries to win over the Brits by doing an early morning walkabout and arranging a banquet. Grasientus buys poison from Wolfbane with a view to killing Badvoc. Aulus is dismayed when Grasientus is exposed as a poisoner... but then Badvoc and Aulus are found to be up to the same tricks.
The Girl of My Dreams
Mar 23, 1988
Aulus is having troubled dreams and tries to have them interpreted. A tribe of female warriors demands a male sacrifice after their cheif's three daughters are de-flowered. The women lay seige to Aulus, Badvoc, Grasientus and Functio for over a month.
One for the Road
Mar 30, 1988
Aulus pledges to build a Roman road from Chelmsford to London but the proposed route goes straight through a brothel that is being run by Badvoc and his men and being frequented by Functio. Blagg makes a career change from Shepherd to Masseur.
Vidi, Vici, Veni
Apr 6, 1988
Badvoc is kidnapped by two Triconi. Aulus decides to 'protect' Gargamadua. Badvoc outwits the Triconi and talks them into sending a ransom demand of 100 bags of gold to Aulus.
Peeled Grapes and Pedicures
Apr 13, 1988
Aulus decides to liven up Chelmsford with the Festival of Saturnalia. As part of the revelry, a fool is made king for a day - and so the Romans naturally choose Badvoc.
