CDLXXXVII for My Roman Peeps

The Aqua-Boy Who Cried "Squid!"

What Happens in Vegas Stays in Your Bloodstream and Eventually Spreads to Your Wife

Less Rock, More Talk

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings: He Made a Deal with the D.A.

The Vegan Zombie Who Only Ate Brainfurky

In the Kingdom of the Blind, I Don't Have to Wear Pants

That Which Doesn't Kill You Will Regroup and Try Again Tomorrow

Tony Danza's Incredibly Inaccurate Book About Feudal Japan

You'd Look Good in Burgundy, But Burgundy Would Look Better in You

The One Where Andy Goes Full-On Rob Ford

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream Because There Is a Murderer on the Loose

The "I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt" Guy Rethinks His Position

Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I Made It Out of Thermoplastic High Density Polypropylene

All the President's "Meh"

The Surprisingly Peaceful Life of Steve Violent

'Tis the Season to Use the Word 'Tis

The Typo That Saved Christmaf

'Twas the Fortnight Minus One Night Before Christmas

Santa's Undocumented Helpers

If Visions of Sugarplums Last More Than 4 Hours, Please Call Your Physician

Gold, Frankincense and Murder

Agnostic Santa and the Secular Humanist Christmas

2014. The Year, or the Number of Talk Shows?

Superman vs. Batman vs. The Local Cape-Launderers Union

In France They Call the Show a "Conan with Cheese."

Recipe for Disaster, No Wait, Onion Soup

Noodlepony, And Other Terrible Band Names

Breakfast at Tiffany's, Lunch at T.J. Maxx

The iPhone App That Was So Much Fun, Everyone Starved to Death

Thursday the Rabbi Ate Bac-Os

The Desolation of That One Lonely Nerd Who Constantly Corrects People on the Proper Pronunciation of "Smaug"

Did Somebody Order an Entendre with Extra Penis?

Apocalypse Now, or Later, Whenever's Good for You

The Bun Crumbs on Cumberbatch's Cummerbund

"You Hombre, Can I Get Another Grey Goose and Red Bull?" Asked the Insufferable Douchebag

That's a Moray: Italian Eels in Love

Don Cheadle, Josh Hopkins, Hard Working Americans

General Ray Odierno, Bill Burr

Zac Efron and Miles Teller, Ellie Kemper, Neko Case with Calexico

Ted Danson, Olga Kurylenko, J. Roddy Walston & The Business

Nick Offerman, Michelle Monaghan, Daniel Sloss

The cast of The Walking Dead, White Denim

Martin Scorsese, Vanessa Bayer, Rock Candy Funk Party

Aubrey Plaza, Joel Kinnaman, Toni Braxton & Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds

Larry King, Cristin Milioti, Jhené Aiko

Tom Arnold, Dr. Jennifer Berman, Ron Funches

Mel Brooks, Langhorn Slim

Ray Romano, Tom Felton, Fortune Feimster

Chris O'Donnell, Sage Kotsenburg, Needtobreathe

Jonah Hill, Lupita Nyong'o, John Butler Trio

Michelle Dockery, D.J. Qualls, Schoolboy Q

Sarah Michelle Gellar, Nick Kroll, Ted Alexandro

John C. Reilly, Pete Holmes, The Haden Triplets

Malin Akerman, Jim Jefferies, James Durbin

Betty White, Jason Momoa, American Authors

Jeff Goldblum, Angie Harmon, Isaac Witty

Kristin Chenoweth, Billy Connolly, Drive-By Truckers

Kevin Nealon, Ansel Elgort, Warpaint

Ricky Gervais, Gillian Jacobs, Goo Goo Dolls

Aaron Paul, Maggie Q, Ian Karmel

Jeff Garlin, Andy Daly, Todd Barry

Fred Armisen & Carrie Brownstein, Rachael Harris, Lucius

Rosario Dawson, Hannibal Buress, Frankie Ballard

Adam Sandler, Tig Notaro

Seth Rogen, Phillip Phillips

Simon Helberg, Eli Young Band

Charles Barkley, Lyle Lovett

Howie Mandel, Christina Hendricks, Rob Gleeson

Anthony Mackie, Kumail Nanjiani, Bad Suns

Andy Garcia, Jenna Elfman, Ingrid Michaelson

Mindy Kaling, Colin Hanks, MGMT

Nathan Fillion, Tatiana Maslany, Dan Soder

Marlon Wayans, Nick Thune, Bastille

Tracy Morgan, Judy Greer, Broken Bells

Chelsea Handler, Hugh Dancy, Cristela Alonzo

Kunal Nayyar, Max Brooks, Hurray for the Riff Raff

Seth Green, Dave Attell, O.A.R.

Martin Short, Jessica Paré, Kelis

Julie Bowen, Billy Eichner, Ziggy Marley

Christopher Meloni, Dave Franco, Hamilton Leithauser

Sharon Osbourne, Paul F. Tompkins, Emily Heller

Sharon Stone, Marc Maron, Rodrigo y Gabriela

Will Arnett, Melissa Rauch, Ryan Hamilton

Lisa Kudrow, George R.R. Martin, Wild Cub

Eric Stonestreet, Rick Reilly, The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger

Steven Ho, Molly Shannon, Mike Recine

Norm Macdonald, Mackenzie Davis, Veruca Salt

Ellen Page, Bob Saget, Jennifer Nettles

Kellan Lutz, Kate McKinnon, Gary Vider

Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez, Twin Shadow

Emily Blunt, Brent Morin, Bob Mould

Jon Favreau, Rob Riggle, Echosmith

Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill, Grouplove

Cobie Smulders, Jenny Slate, Ian Edwards

Jack White, Amber Stevens

Eric McCormack, Michael Lewis, Roy Wood Jr.

Ice Cube, Chris D'Elia, Hari Kondabolu

David Mizejewski, Max Greenfield, Bernhoft

Elijah Wood, Jason Mantzoukas, The Both

Kevin Hart, Rhona Mitra, Atmosphere

Ice-T, Whitney Cummings, Body Count

Meredith Vieira, Dean Norris, Cherub

Eric Bana, Andy Serkis, Conway

Joel McHale, Freddie Wong & Matt Arnold, Daniel Sloss

Jason Biggs, Omar Gonzalez, Ellie Kemper

Michael Sheen, Joe Manganiello, Marsha Ambrosius

Michael Strahan, Famke Janssen, Mark Normand

Jason Segel & Cameron Diaz, Matt Walsh, "Weird Al" Yankovic

Carl Reiner, Angela Kinsey, Reggie Watts

Gary Oldman, Gabriel Iglesias, The Hold Steady

Stephen Moyer, Roger Corman, Boy & Bear

Dwayne Johnson, Taye Diggs, Tori Amos

The Cast of Orange Is The New Black, Nikki Lane

Ethan Hawke, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Jamie Scott

Larry King, Lizzy Caplan, Sam Morril

Megan Fox, Todd Glass

Will Arnett, Anna Camp, Benjamin Booker

Damon Wayans Jr., Ali Larter, Lake Street Dive

Martin Lawrence, Kumail Nanjiani & Jonah Ray, Ty Segall

Aubrey Plaza, Kesha, Cameron Esposito

Josh Groban, Nathan Fielder, Jenny Lewis

Jessica Alba, Marcus Haney, Tove Lo

Pierce Brosnan, Jaime King, Hampton Yount

The Scrapisode

Allison Janney, Brett Gelman, Brooks Wheelan

Justin Theroux, Tony Hale, Shovels & Rope

Chris Hardwick, Keizo Shimamoto, David Gray

Mel Brooks, Adam Devine, Alt-J

Anna Faris, John Hodgman, Wiz Khalifa

Seth Green, Leslie Bibb, Sturgill Simpson

Kunal Nayyar, Ben Schwartz, Garfunkel & Oates

Timothy Olyphant, Nasim Pedrad, Passenger

Kevin Nealon, Dr. Jennifer Berman, Nick Griffin

Marisa Tomei, Jim Jefferies, Old Crow Medicine Show

Hank Azaria, Hannibal Buress, Tegan & Sara

Zooey Deschanel, Breckin Meyer, Beck

Kirsten Dunst, Ike Barinholtz, Paul Simon

Luke Wilson, Dhani Harrison & Friends

Bill Hader, Chelsea Peretti, Norah Jones

Ben Kingsley, Al Madrigal, Kenny Chesney

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Bill Burr, Chrissie Hynde

Nick Offerman, Jerrod Carmichael, Pete Correale

Martin Short, Camilla Luddington, Ryan Adams

Dax Shepard, Rosemarie DeWitt, Dan St. Germain

Jennifer Garner, T.J. Miller, Shakey Graves

Chelsea Handler, Nicholas Hoult, Gerard Way

Anthony Anderson, Jon Lovitz, The New Pornographers

Alan Cumming, Casey Wilson, Pentatonix

Dana Carvey, Cristin Milioti, Gary Gulman

Kat Dennings, Wyatt Cenac, Tenacious D

Neil Patrick Harris, Damian Lillard, Kiesza

Blake Griffin, Max Greenfield, Bear Hands

Ashton Kutcher, Krysten Ritter, Beck

Jon Cryer, Katharine McPhee, Bob Odenkirk

Jake Gyllenhaal, Judy Greer, The War on Drugs